Love is a Losing Game
by smaragdbird
Summary: Odin banishes Loki to Earth to learn a lesson. Eventually Odin decides that Loki has proven himself and tries to recall his son. But...Loki refuses to leave Earth. Turns out he's wanted on Earth and has a second family/friends that accept and love him. Why would he give that up?


"Loki, now!" Tony called over the battlefield. A hydra had escaped from one of the nine realms and of course it had ended up in New York City.

Loki nodded, his hands almost weaving the spell on their own. Fire cackled between his fingers, spreading over his hands and forming a large ball.

"Everyone off," He called, giving them five seconds to get away from the hydra before throwing his fireball at it. The hydra screamed with its nine heads, a deafening sound but Loki kept weaving his spell, feeding the fire with magic.

The hydra reared up, trying to find an escape from the flames, trying to run but for now Tony's repulsor blasts were keeping it at bay. Loki hoped that it was enough because he didn't have the strength for a shield. Flame magic was always the most exhausting of all kinds of magic, the one where he had to concentrate the most. For some reason it felt always unnatural to him.

Finally the hydra's scales began to turn from violet to black and the dark smoke was almost unbearable in its smell.

"You almost have it," Clint said reassuringly over the com. Loki let the calmness of his voice wash over him, drawing strength from it.

"Cover your ears," Loki advised his teammates. A hydra's death scream wasn't meant to be heard by mortals. Even for him the sound pierced his bones, pain shooting through his body along with it. Loki's knees gave in but he kept weaving the spell until the hydra lay still and silent on the charred ground.

"Loki!" Natasha was the first to reach him. She caught him around the waist and held him upright as well as she could before Tony and Steve reached them.

"Easy there," Tony said when Loki tried to stand but his feet gave away from under him.

"Good work everyone, you too Clint." Steve said.

"Right, because I was so useful up here." Clint replied sarcastically over the radio. "I'm telling Coulson to send the cleanup crew. See you at the mansion."

/

Loki fell asleep on the ride home. He dreamed of home. He always dreamed of home. Asgard in all its golden glory, his father, his mother, his brother. When it was a good dream he dreamed about his mother singing while she was spinning and weaving, his father telling old stories from the war with the frost giants and even older ones from his father and his father and his father before him, Thor and him secretly riding Sleipnir or stealing Idunn's golden apples.

It wasn't a good dream, though. It was his father yelling at him for letting the frost giants into Asgard, his mother looking so disappointed and Thor not even raising a hand to help him even when Loki begged him to.

"Hey, Loki," Natasha woke him up. "We're home."

Outside the mansion Loki could see Clint arguing with Coulson over something but he felt too tired to care.

"It can wait, they can wait," he heard Clint say. "It's been a long day. Give it some rest."

"On your responsibility," Coulson replied at which Clint rolled his eyes.

"Will you ever trust me, Phil?"

"I trust you enough."

Clint looked over to wink at Loki. "Welcome home, sweetheart," Tired or not, Loki threw a small water ball into his face. "Hey!" Clint protested while Coulson's lips twitched suspiciously.

Upstairs Loki stretched out on his bed, not even bothering with taking off his clothes of. He could always do that later, like tomorrow.

The door was opened and closed and someone walked in.

"Next time just let me shoot it."

"If you have elvish arrows, we talk." Loki replied with his eyes closed.

The bed dipped under Clint's weight. "You gonna drown me when I take your clothes of sweetheart?"

Loki growled but nothing else happened.

"It's summer, I don't get why you're wearing so many clothes," Clint complained, dragging Loki's shirt over his shoulders.

"I don't get why you don't walk around shirtless, but I might be biased here." He felt Clint's laugh more than he heard it because the other man had stretched out behind him. Loki grabbed his arm, wrapping it around his waist. Everything else could wait for another day.

/

It was already bright outside when he woke up. Clint was snoring into his ear, wrapped around Loki like a blanket and twice as warm. For once Loki didn't mind. He hadn't dreamed and he had come to regard those nights as the best ones. He gave it a moment or two but when Clint still didn't wake up he conjured a snake and let it slither up Clint's bare leg.

It worked like a charm, every single time.

Clint startled awake and Loki snickered, the snake vanishing into thin air.

"Haha, very funny." Clint rolled over onto his back. Loki followed him and straddled his lap in one swift motion. The early morning light pronounced the angles of Clint's face, making him look older than he was. Loki's heart clenched for a moment. They had maybe another 40 years before Clint would inevitably leave him. He pushed the thought away as he leaned down to kiss him.

For once Clint didn't deepen the kiss but instead pushed him away. Loki had learned that this meant Clint had something unpleasant to say to him. For some reason he preferred breaking bad news in the morning instead of any other time of the day.

"What is it?" Loki asked. "It'd better not be an undercover mission again."

Clint shook his head. "It's your family. They're here."

Loki felt his heart clench painfully, half in hope, half in fear. "What do they want?"

"They didn't say. But they want to talk to you."

"Where are they?"

/

Despite Clint saying that his family had come to Midgard to see him, it was only his father and Thor waiting for him at Shield's New York Headquarters. They looked as out of place as Loki had when his father had first banished him to Midgard. Now two years later, he felt out of place once more when he walked into the room in jeans, a shirt and a waistcoat.

"Father, Thor", he said, not trusting his own voice for a moment.

"Loki", his father said while Thor crossed the room and hugged him enthusiastically.

"What are you doing here?" Loki asked stiffly and without preamble, looking from his father to his brother.

"Your exile is over", his father said.

"You can come home", Thor added with a bright grin.

Home.

Asgard.

Golden buildings and crystal mountains and the eternal roar of the sea falling into space and stars. Thor's shadow, Sif's disdain, Fandral's beautiful empty words, Heimdall's reproachful looks.

Midgard.

Natasha singing Russian folk songs when she's doing the dishes, Steve on the couch with a drawing pad on his knees, Tony bickering with everyone within hearing distance, Bruce's attempts to put Loki's magic into equations, the sound of Darcy's laughter, the warmth of Coulson's approval. Clint laughing at his tricks, Clint smiling at him, Clint being impressed by his accuracy when he throws knives, Clint holding him close on the nights the homesickness threatens to overwhelm him.

"I need some time", Loki answered and fled the room.

/

The look Clint gave him when he came back made one thing crystal clear: Clint had known what Odin and Thor had wanted.

"How long have they been here?"

Clint didn't even pretend that he didn't understand what Loki was referring to.

"Coulson told me when I came back to the Tower, after you killed the hydra. You were so exhausted…I thought it'd be better if you saw when you had all your senses together."

Loki was torn between ripping into him for keeping it secret and thanking him. In the end he did neither. "I see."

"Will you go then? Back to Asgard?" Every muscle in Clint's body was tense and he was looking at Loki like he expected him to hit him.

Asgard.

The colourful flare of the Bifrost under his feet. The air cackling with magic. Volstagg's cheer. His mother's songs. Fandral's passion. His father's guidance. Sif's companionship. His brother's love. Hogun's smile.

Midgard.

The narrow-mindedness of people who would never understand that their world was not the centre of the universe. The taste of stale, empty air. The secrecy between Clint and Natasha. Tony's arrogance. Steve's preaching. Coulson scolding them for not following orders to the letter. Bruce's uncontrollable, ruining anger.

"I need some time."

"I understand", but Loki could see that Clint had already made up his mind about Loki's decision and it angered him. Who was Clint Barton to decide over him? Who was he that he thought he knew Loki better than Loki knew himself?

The universe was vast and not empty beyond the well-travelled branches of the world tree. He could leave them behind, Midgard, Asgard, all nine worlds and explore the folds and crevices of space. But he liked the companionship, liked being looked up to, liked the familiarity of the nine worlds and its paths.

His resolve lasted until he reached the kitchen. Coulson was bickering with Tony about a mission report next to Pepper who was reading the paper. Steve had his back to the door but Loki could see he was reading the comments on his art blog. Natasha was braiding Darcy's hair and whispered tips in her ear on how to beat Jane at chess and Bruce was cooking.

"Hey", Steve said, looking up from his tablet. "How did it go with your family?"

"You knew?" Loki asked but he wasn't surprised that they did.

"Clint was freaking out", Darcy told him.

"Never faced the prospect of meeting someone's parents before", Clint said from behind him. When Loki turned his head, Clint gave him an apprehensive smile and Loki knew what he would do.

/

"I will not return with you", Loki said and watched the smile on Thor's face dim.

"But – "

"Not yet. I'm grateful that my exile has been lifted", he looked at his father, "but for now I wish to stay on Midgard with my friends."

"You will lose them soon, Loki. Do you want to go through that?" Odin asked.

"They're my friends and I would die for them."

"What about me? And our friends in Asgard?" Thor asked and Loki just about managed not to roll his eyes. Of course Thor would make this about himself.

"What's fifty years, brother? I will be back before you miss me."

"I've missed you on every day during the last year." Such clichéd words and yet the sincerity with which Thor said them erased any doubt in Loki's mind.

"If my exile is lifted nothing stops you from visiting me and nothing stops me from visiting you. But for now my place is here."

"Then I wish you only the best", Thor said warmly and embraced Loki. Whatever happened to Thor during the last year Loki could appreciate this new side to his brother.

"Take care, son", his father said and clasped his shoulder.

"I will. Give Mother my love."

"She'll want you to bring your mortal the next time you visit", his father said with a smirk. For a moment Loki was surprised but then he remembered the ravens and smiled.

The idea of seeing Clint in Asgard, at court even amused him.

"Tell her I will." He was quite looking forward to it.


End file.
